change....

as of may 19th my life needs to change drastically. as Aaron Lewis from staind says, "if you dwell on how terrible your life has been, it will remain forever terrible."

i received my death sentence/court hearing papers in the mail from my car accident. i can sum up the ten page packet by saying this girl likes to drink ;(. but looking at the situation on the brightside, this isnt a death sentence but an eye awaking experience, a change, a rebirth of myself. after apparently thousands of dollars later, AA meetings, and court dates this could be a learning experience for me and make me a stronger (sober?) person. i am ready for that challenge!!

i am trying to keep mr. lewis's lyrics in my head during this time. i have lots to think about and frankly i get sick sometimes thinking about everything.

~ how in the worlddddd am i alive????? (after seeing my car, its a shocking revolution that i havent grasped just yet)

~my insurance is going to go sky rocketing!!!!!!!!!!!!

~how am i going to get to work when my license is going to get revoked for months???

~money/money/money

~ lawyers which equals money money money

~how in the world am i alive????

~down payment for a new car???

~ i sure as hell am skipping this town when this is all said and done ;)

i did see my car a few days ago when i had to clean my car out. i now believe that there is some high power. if u saw this car parked in the middle of a junkyard u would think it went up in flames. You wouldnt think that i got out of the car with just a fractured eye socket bone, black eye and swollen face. i am the result of a miracle???????? i think its time to get those angel wings on my back that i always wants.

i think with all these things that i have to decide and multiple hours working, i will hopefully get the ultimate douchebag out of my mind. my theme for the rest of my life is you only live once. i got a second chance at life and i can not and will not sit around and booohooo over the first man i fell in love with, that now has blocked my number and will never speak to me. it is his lost. if i focus on changing my life for the better and not putting up with the bs of many douchebags, i will attract my prince charming aka johnny depp. :)