The world is a little more gentle on us than we are on ourselves sometimes.

Jan 12, 2012
I finally got my blood test for my thyroid!!! I went by myself and laughed through it. 
FYI- I was scard.  I have postponed it for a month.  Last time i got a blood test i screamed and cried for a good half hour and then it was nothing.
This time i talked to the lady and it was over in like a minute.  The only part that hurt a little was her taking the needle out!!

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF :)

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Jan 18, 2011 I went to the first (out of three) AA meeting .  I was going to go to the camel club here in Penn Hills but by the time i found it (it was behind a shopping plaza) i was late.  So I went to the library and headed to one in Wilkinsburg. 

I didnt know what to expect but it was very nice.  It was at a church, lasted an hour.  Everyone was so nice when i walked in, almost everyone introduced themselves.  I went to an open speaker one so I didnt have to speak.  They did ask if there were any first timers but since I am not an alcoholic i didnt stand up. 
I sat there and listened to a guy talk about his battle with alcoholism.  Its amazing how alcohol can take over someone's life.  This guy had a drink every night from the age of 17 to 30.  wow! kept his marriage and kids but it was close at times. 

They opened the meeting with the serenity prayer and some rules.  they ended the meeting with the lord's prayer.  Surprisingly i liked it a lot.

This dude from work told me that I didnt have to really go to the meetings.  Since they are ANONYMOUS.  Anyone could sign my paper and they wouldnt know.  interesting! but honestly I found the meetings very interesting and excited to go to another one.  and plus its only an hour!!

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

You simply cant drive forward if u are focused on what's happening in the rearview mirror!

This is a lot harder when it's cold,rainy, and windy outside and the only thing i want to do is lay in bed!! lol

The energy that u put out into the world is the energy that u are going to receive back.

This is a lot easier when theres sunshine on my day off in Jan :)

Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you, the thing u think u cant survive it’s the thing that makes u better than u use to be

Last week (Jan 7 and 8) I had my 12 hour alcohol driving safety class.  I was dreading it.  But it was really interesting.  It was 6 hours on sat and 6 hours on Sun.  Sat we left early because the elevators in the building were not working properly and it was a fire hazard.  So, we left right after lunch and it didnt count against us, since it was no one's fault.  Sat was suppose to be from 9-4.  we got out about one.  Sun we got out at three.  A lot of people were happy because Sun was the Steeler's first (and last) playoff game. 

The class was 19 people from middle age to people my age and girls younger.  Some people didnt say anything throughout the class (including me-class participation wasnt a factor) and others talked the whole time (some saying some really stupid things and asking questions that the instructor already went over)

I believe everyone should take this class, not just after you got in trouble.  Very informative

Here are some things that i have learned and that will def stick
~I have been taught in my hospitality classes that a drink an hour is ok.  but actually it is a drink in an hour and a half.  We still leave .005 in our bodies in an hour.  So, we just add that on to the next drink.
~16,000 DUIs in Allegheny County.  That is the reason why this whole process is taking so long
~ 3 out of 4 cars after midnight are triple the legal limit
~ Mixed drinks mixed with Diet "whatever" is worst because it will read higher on the breathalyzer.  Something to do with the sweeteners they use in diet sodas mixed with the sugar in the alcohol.
~Blackout- overdosing your frontal lobe.  Loss of oxygen to your brain and kills brain cells and we do not regenerate them! wow!
~When alcohol is present in your system, all the other products that need to metabolized must wait until the liver elimates all of the alcohol first.  Your liver will then metabolize all waiting products. Causing my shits the next day.  Your liver is working 4xs harder with each drinking episode.
~Ideal mind is the devil's playground
~and average alcohol ad is geared towards a 13 year old boy.

How can u apply the lessons of your past to today?

Yes I am still on the market but I consider myself as a prime piece of real estate my value is only going up

^^^^^This saying comes to mind as i lay in bed not  being able to sleep.  Most people get up and get a glass of water (chips or cookies), turn on the tv, read a book, or maybe play words with friends.  But i tend to do something that has also become the norm for some girls (and guys).  They google their ex. 

Its true.  Do not stalk if you are not ready to see some bad news. 

i received bad news. 
 a year a 23 year old girl has moved in with him (he hardly let me stay in his apt alone. Hes 38)
she just graduated from college
she works for a website he started up
tiny black girl (i cant even say he wasnt into black girls)
Shes from Florida (when did this happen??)

I need to get over him and not the way girls say they are over someone as they slam down another seabreeze!!!

So I need to stop googling him.  Nothing good has come out of it and nothing good will.  One has to move on.  People say I deserve better/ theres other guys out there. 
But when you have walked in my shoes I become pessimistic and say "the last single girl standing!"


IF HE DOESNT LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE HIM THAN HE DOESNT DESERVE ME

Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around. We are always fighting a battle to improve ourselves at something and right now this moment is another opportunity to turn it all around

Anger towards someone who has wronged u can trigger a cascade of stress hormones that can haunt u through the night. To prevent that effect, think about how u were hurt, ur response, and how u feel right now.  Then think about whether or not theres anything in the background of the person who hurt u that  explains what he or she did. There is is, put urself in their shoes and see if u cant forgive them. If u can, you’ll sleep  like a baby. 

another great new years resolution.

My friend Brittany does Theta healing and wants me to write down everyone in my past that has harmed me.  Then she will release all that stress from my body..

interesting.

To be mature is to accept imperfections

CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT IN ALL OF MATTER.  PEOPLE THAT TRY NOT TO CHANGE AREUNATURAL.  HOW WE EXPERIENCE CHANGE IS UP TO US. IT CAN FEEL LIKE DEATH OR A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE. IF WE OPEN OUR FINGER LOSEN OUR GRIPS AND GO WITH IT; IT CAN FEEL LIKE PURE ADRENALINE. LIKE AT ANY MOMENT WE CAN HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE.  LIKE AT ANY MOMENT WE CAN BE BORN ALL OVER AGAIN; LIKE THE WAY WE CLING TO WHAT THINGS WERE INSTEAD OF LETTING THEM BE WHAT THEY ARE.  THE WAY WE CLING TO OLD MEMORIES INSTEAD OF FORMING NEW ONES.  THE WAY WE INSIST ON BELIEVING DESPITE EVERY SCIENCE INDEDICATION THAT ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE IS PERMANENT

CHANGE IS CONSTANT
~MERIDETH GREYS ANATOMY...

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

PERFECT QUOTE FOR THE START OF THE NEW YEAR AND MONTHS AFTER MY ACCIDENT